my friends and i have experienced something that no one should ever experience in their teenage years: the loss of a best friend. a little over a month ago, my beloved friend, macy, passed away in a tragic car accident. a small mistake led thousands of people mourning her loss. throughout this month, i have dealt with a lot of grief and pain. there’s no way to prepare for something so sudden and devastating to happen, ever.
since the day i was born, i have been surrounded by love. ive been so blessed in that way; however, i have taken it all for granted. like all humans, i get upset at my parents and friends for silly things, creating unneeded drama and anger in my life, but now i regret it. i regret not saying i love you to every person that’s stood by my side throughout my life, like my parents. i regret getting annoyed with friends for dumb reasons. and i regret, with every ounce of my body, taking those that i have lost for granted.
macy may was unlike any human I ever met. as I’ve written and talked about on this platform throughout the past 6 months, making friends and finding true, loyal friends has been no easy task for me. i’ve struggled my entire life, searching for someone to just stand by my side and wholeheartedly support me. then, i met macy. macy was exactly that: a true, supportive friend. we did nothing but laugh, dance, and have fun together. she brought me out of my shell and pushed me out of my comfort zone. she even inspired me to start my podcast. i remember telling her how nervous i was about the people at school making fun of me, and she told me “fuck them. they’re just jealous of you and all your awesomeness.” and so i started my podcast, which has been one of the best decisions of my life, thanks to macy.
she didn’t just push me to do things out of my comfort zone, she pushed me to be me. i’ve never met anyone who wanted to spend time with me. all versions of me: loud and obnoxious; quiet and anxious, fun and silly; every version of me she loved and allowed me to embrace it. i am forever grateful
to her and for that. she taught me to put on music on the doe speakers, take off my shoes, and dance on the tables. i don’t think many people have the courage to do that, but macy did. she had the strength to be herself, which allowed all those around her to embrace themselves.
if im ever lucky enough to meet another person like you, i promise, i will never take them for granted. i’ll dance on the tables, i’ll go to all the hockey games, and even the beach in the middle of the night.
now, if your lucky enough to meet someone HALF or even a quarter as awesome and wonderful as macy, hold on to them tight, and never ever let them go, or you’ll regret it forever.
thank you for everything macy. you truly have changed my life for ever. i hope you’re dancing with sunny up in heaven. i love you forever and ever.
xoxo,
el bell
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